Nathan and Grandma
Dec. 27, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
A Day In Between
Well, Zane and I had a great time visiting Rachael and her family in Kentucky. No snow, but the temps made it really feel like December and not June. We had fun going to Jon's grandmother home for Christmas Eve dinner and present opening. Rachael cooked her first turkey as well as all the trimmings for our Christmas Day dinner. We received just as much as we needed and it was not a day of excess. The last thing anyone of us needs is more "stuff." We flew home to AZ yesterday and I have been utilizing this day in between trips to clean, shop for books using my gift card, and take down decorations. Tomorrow we are off again to visit Utah and Matt and family. Zane and Matt already have a snowboarding excursion planned for Park City. As odd as it seems, Matt is not a good snowboarder. That is strange because you all must remember the huge halfpipe he and Chuck built in our "backyard" in Cheyenne. He loved (lived) to skateboard. Anyway, while they are playing in the snow I will go to their house and play with the boys. This little trip will take us until Jan. 2. Then Zane will come back to Gilbert and I will go visit my Dad and brother in Albuquerque. I hope you all had as wonderful family filled Christmas as I did. Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Random Pics
Frentheway Family 2004
Rachael, Jonathon, and Nathan 2007
Matt, Melissa, Kreed, Dawson, Ryker, Beau, and Riggs 2007
Chuck and Kathy 2002
Zane and Kathy 2007
Past and Present
The day Chuck and I were married, 1970, we walked into the woods around Park City, Utah, and carved our names and wedding date into a skinny aspen tree. Thirty-five years later, 2005, we again walked into those same woods and found our tree. Thank you, God, for that wonderful last anniversary with my husband.
The Story In the Stone
The story of Chuck's headstone began in the summer of 2005. Chuck and the boys were on their annual "50 Miler" into the Wind River Mountains of Wyoming. Maybe while hiking, or fishing, or sitting around the campfire, Chuck mentioned that when he died he didn't want some manufactured, "one size fits all" headstone. He wanted just some rock from the mountains with his name written on it in magic marker and then plopped on his grave. Nothing fancy, ostentatious, or loud. The only loud thing he liked was the color of his shirts. He really never wanted to call attention to himself. Laughingly, the boys agreed to his wishes, knowing all along that he would probably outlive them.
In December of 2005, Chuck got to spend Christmas with Christ. His lifelong goal of being with the Savior was granted. As his loved ones grieved, funeralized, and buried his body, one question remained unanswered. What should Chuck's headstone look like? Where will it be purchased from and how much will it cost? The answer came one day from either Matt or Zane, reminding us all of their Dad's previous summer wish. The quest for the 2006 "50 Miler" was to find and bring out of the mountains Chuck's headstone. So Uncle John brought along his horse trailer for the horses and for the purpose of having a way to haul out Uncle Chuckie's headstone. The perfect stone was found on the last day just as they were walking out of the green meadow that flanked the parking lot. There it sat just glowing as if to say, "Here I am. Choose me!" So, with the super human strength of 4 or 5 men, the heavy granite stone was loving put into the back of the horse trailer and hauled to the ranch. Patiently, it sat and waited behind the farm house shed through all that cold winter and windy spring until the summer of 2007.
I decided that the summer of 2007 would be my Road Trip Summer. I drove to see everyone, within reason. ( I did fly to see Rachael in Kentucky). While in Heber, Utah, I knew this was the time to take care of Chuck's headstone. So I called Tri-State Memorial in Cheyenne. The owner knew the Frentheway family and he said he could engrave the stone. Furthermore, he said he would even go out to the ranch and bring it in to his shop , do the work, and then bring it back out and set it for us. We set up the time for the work to be done by so that when I drove to Cheyenne, I would be able to be there when the stone was set. However, Tri-State had a death in their family which prevented them from finishing the work when I was there. Reluctantly, I wrapped up my Cheyenne visit and went home to Arizona. I felt really negligent and unsettled when I flew to Rachael's in July. I felt that I had let Chuck down and that everyone was judging me because I still hadn't gotten a headstone for Chuck. You know, that sick Al-Anon thinking. I expressed these feelings to Rachael and she reminded me of our family philosophy: "Things always happen for a reason, and good things always come from seemingly bad events." I had to exercise some faith here, and accept the fact that the timing for the placing of the stone was not in my hands. While at Rachael's, I received an e-mail from Tri-State informing me that they could set the stone on July 19. I knew I couldn't be there but Rachael could!!! Here is where the Lord's hand came into play. Unknown to me, Rachael had made plans to visit her friend, Val, in Denver on July 19th. She would arrive in Denver early enough for her and Val to drive to Cheyenne and be there to set her Dad's headstone. The miracle of all this is that each one of my children had a significant part in procuring and placing the memorial on their Dad's grave. What I learned is this whole dying and honoring our loved ones business is not just about me, the widow, doing it all, but about allowing my children to have a significant and poignant part in the process, as well. Also by the miracle of modern communications, Rachael was able to let me listen as Uncle Mike dedicated the headstone and she also sent me Pix messages as well. The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He works in all our lives to bring to pass the best opportunities for us to grow closer to Him. We just have to allow Him to help us and accept His Plan. I know that He lives and that Chuck is with Heavenly Father and Christ doing the work he lived to die for.
In December of 2005, Chuck got to spend Christmas with Christ. His lifelong goal of being with the Savior was granted. As his loved ones grieved, funeralized, and buried his body, one question remained unanswered. What should Chuck's headstone look like? Where will it be purchased from and how much will it cost? The answer came one day from either Matt or Zane, reminding us all of their Dad's previous summer wish. The quest for the 2006 "50 Miler" was to find and bring out of the mountains Chuck's headstone. So Uncle John brought along his horse trailer for the horses and for the purpose of having a way to haul out Uncle Chuckie's headstone. The perfect stone was found on the last day just as they were walking out of the green meadow that flanked the parking lot. There it sat just glowing as if to say, "Here I am. Choose me!" So, with the super human strength of 4 or 5 men, the heavy granite stone was loving put into the back of the horse trailer and hauled to the ranch. Patiently, it sat and waited behind the farm house shed through all that cold winter and windy spring until the summer of 2007.
I decided that the summer of 2007 would be my Road Trip Summer. I drove to see everyone, within reason. ( I did fly to see Rachael in Kentucky). While in Heber, Utah, I knew this was the time to take care of Chuck's headstone. So I called Tri-State Memorial in Cheyenne. The owner knew the Frentheway family and he said he could engrave the stone. Furthermore, he said he would even go out to the ranch and bring it in to his shop , do the work, and then bring it back out and set it for us. We set up the time for the work to be done by so that when I drove to Cheyenne, I would be able to be there when the stone was set. However, Tri-State had a death in their family which prevented them from finishing the work when I was there. Reluctantly, I wrapped up my Cheyenne visit and went home to Arizona. I felt really negligent and unsettled when I flew to Rachael's in July. I felt that I had let Chuck down and that everyone was judging me because I still hadn't gotten a headstone for Chuck. You know, that sick Al-Anon thinking. I expressed these feelings to Rachael and she reminded me of our family philosophy: "Things always happen for a reason, and good things always come from seemingly bad events." I had to exercise some faith here, and accept the fact that the timing for the placing of the stone was not in my hands. While at Rachael's, I received an e-mail from Tri-State informing me that they could set the stone on July 19. I knew I couldn't be there but Rachael could!!! Here is where the Lord's hand came into play. Unknown to me, Rachael had made plans to visit her friend, Val, in Denver on July 19th. She would arrive in Denver early enough for her and Val to drive to Cheyenne and be there to set her Dad's headstone. The miracle of all this is that each one of my children had a significant part in procuring and placing the memorial on their Dad's grave. What I learned is this whole dying and honoring our loved ones business is not just about me, the widow, doing it all, but about allowing my children to have a significant and poignant part in the process, as well. Also by the miracle of modern communications, Rachael was able to let me listen as Uncle Mike dedicated the headstone and she also sent me Pix messages as well. The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He works in all our lives to bring to pass the best opportunities for us to grow closer to Him. We just have to allow Him to help us and accept His Plan. I know that He lives and that Chuck is with Heavenly Father and Christ doing the work he lived to die for.
In the Beginning
In the beginning, the written word was chipped into hieroglyphics, then painted on handwritten scrolls on papyrus, type set in the Guttenburg Bible, printed in rag paper books, air mailed, e-mailed, and now blogged on the Internet. The written word has always been a source of enjoyment and knowledge for me. I enter a bookstore and get a physical high. I open a brand new book or magazine and become someone else or transported to another place. Then the world of blogging hit my desktop. I was enthralled. I checked the blogspots daily to see and read something new. I felt connected to loved ones more than an e-mail or snail mail letter could ever do. I really enjoyed reading the blogs from my daughter and some of my nieces. So, I thought to myself , that if the "younger " kids can understand and manage this form of journaling, I can too. After all, I have a master's degree in education, 36 years of parenting and 35+ years of raising a husband. In all honesty, this blogging should be a piece of cake! Let's hope so.
Actually, I would like to dedicate this blog spot to my late husband and eternal companion, Chuck Frentheway. He would have loved and embraced this form of keeping a journal. I always admired him for his diligence in writing in his paper journal on a daily basis for 30 years. He was always on the look out for an electronic way to record his thoughts, testimony, and daily events. Now, however, he is using the heavenly version of keeping a daily record. I will just have to wait to read it until I am with him again.
I won't promise that this spot will be updated on a daily basis, but I will promise that it will be updated. I am going to start out by posting a picture of Chuck's headstone. It is beautiful and he loves it so. I post it because the story of how it came to be is a story of faith, love, and accepting the Lord's timing of events and knowing that everything happens for a reason.
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