The Story In the Stone

The story of Chuck's headstone began in the summer of 2005. Chuck and the boys were on their annual "50 Miler" into the Wind River Mountains of Wyoming. Maybe while hiking, or fishing, or sitting around the campfire, Chuck mentioned that when he died he didn't want some manufactured, "one size fits all" headstone. He wanted just some rock from the mountains with his name written on it in magic marker and then plopped on his grave. Nothing fancy, ostentatious, or loud. The only loud thing he liked was the color of his shirts. He really never wanted to call attention to himself. Laughingly, the boys agreed to his wishes, knowing all along that he would probably outlive them.
In December of 2005, Chuck got to spend Christmas with Christ. His lifelong goal of being with the Savior was granted. As his loved ones grieved, funeralized, and buried his body, one question remained unanswered. What should Chuck's headstone look like? Where will it be purchased from and how much will it cost? The answer came one day from either Matt or Zane, reminding us all of their Dad's previous summer wish. The quest for the 2006 "50 Miler" was to find and bring out of the mountains Chuck's headstone. So Uncle John brought along his horse trailer for the horses and for the purpose of having a way to haul out Uncle Chuckie's headstone. The perfect stone was found on the last day just as they were walking out of the green meadow that flanked the parking lot. There it sat just glowing as if to say, "Here I am. Choose me!" So, with the super human strength of 4 or 5 men, the heavy granite stone was loving put into the back of the horse trailer and hauled to the ranch. Patiently, it sat and waited behind the farm house shed through all that cold winter and windy spring until the summer of 2007.
I decided that the summer of 2007 would be my Road Trip Summer. I drove to see everyone, within reason. ( I did fly to see Rachael in Kentucky). While in Heber, Utah, I knew this was the time to take care of Chuck's headstone. So I called Tri-State Memorial in Cheyenne. The owner knew the Frentheway family and he said he could engrave the stone. Furthermore, he said he would even go out to the ranch and bring it in to his shop , do the work, and then bring it back out and set it for us. We set up the time for the work to be done by so that when I drove to Cheyenne, I would be able to be there when the stone was set. However, Tri-State had a death in their family which prevented them from finishing the work when I was there. Reluctantly, I wrapped up my Cheyenne visit and went home to Arizona. I felt really negligent and unsettled when I flew to Rachael's in July. I felt that I had let Chuck down and that everyone was judging me because I still hadn't gotten a headstone for Chuck. You know, that sick Al-Anon thinking. I expressed these feelings to Rachael and she reminded me of our family philosophy: "Things always happen for a reason, and good things always come from seemingly bad events." I had to exercise some faith here, and accept the fact that the timing for the placing of the stone was not in my hands. While at Rachael's, I received an e-mail from Tri-State informing me that they could set the stone on July 19. I knew I couldn't be there but Rachael could!!! Here is where the Lord's hand came into play. Unknown to me, Rachael had made plans to visit her friend, Val, in Denver on July 19th. She would arrive in Denver early enough for her and Val to drive to Cheyenne and be there to set her Dad's headstone. The miracle of all this is that each one of my children had a significant part in procuring and placing the memorial on their Dad's grave. What I learned is this whole dying and honoring our loved ones business is not just about me, the widow, doing it all, but about allowing my children to have a significant and poignant part in the process, as well. Also by the miracle of modern communications, Rachael was able to let me listen as Uncle Mike dedicated the headstone and she also sent me Pix messages as well. The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He works in all our lives to bring to pass the best opportunities for us to grow closer to Him. We just have to allow Him to help us and accept His Plan. I know that He lives and that Chuck is with Heavenly Father and Christ doing the work he lived to die for.